zane_zhang
zane_zhang
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

电视剧

妈妈:你看看你爸爸,电视机、冰箱、电饭锅…什么都会修! 女儿不耐烦的说:我知道了!

“知道你妹啊!你要是找个像你爸这样的,你一辈子也别想用上新的东西!”@捧腹网

1861 145 1
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

放假了

要放假了,书记给安排假期值班的事情……………此为背景……………

书记说:“现在形势比较特殊,假期绝对不让一个老师值班,。@捧腹网 。”听到这儿大家都欢呼起来,书记接着说:“所以我们决定一天两个老师值班”。。。。。。。

61 4 0
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

晨跑

女儿:“我要买一身运动服用来晨跑!”

爸爸:“为什么啊,穿校服晨跑不也挺好吗?”

女儿:“穿校服晨跑谁能知道我晨跑啊,他们都认为我上学迟到了!”@捧腹网

1986 80 1
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

床上

躺在酒店的床上,刚把香烟点着,发现桌上的警示牌写着:“请勿躺在床上吸烟!” 我无奈地摇摇头,翻个身趴在床上吸了起来。@捧腹网
861 75 0
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

朋友。

朋友:“你俩口子真好,从来不吵架。@捧腹网

我:“哪有啊,我们也会经常吵架,只是邻居们不知道而已,因为每次吵架的时候,我都要把门关起来。”

朋友:“怕邻居看见了不好意思对吧?”

我:“对啊,一个大男人被老婆打,多难为情呀!”

1229 57 2
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

相亲

相亲会上和一搞健身的哥们聊天,哥们说:“上次相亲的女生居然叫李建刚!真是不能忍受和性别这么不符的名字,简直变态。@捧腹网 ”我在一旁点头表示同意。这时候,广播响起,传来主持人叫号的声音:请075号嘉宾 牛小妹入场。那哥们马上站了起来,对我说:“先不聊了。主持人叫我入场了。”
1768 106 1
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

老公

老婆:老公我吃饱了,没事咱俩聊聊你前任。@捧腹网

我:想让我刷碗洗锅直接说吗!拐弯抹角的说累不累。

85 15 0
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

男人

男人和男人促进感情的方式是干坏事 女人和女人促进感情要一起说别人坏话。@捧腹网 男人和女人促进感情是做坏事完还说坏话。。。。
18 2 0
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

事业

别老拿事业工作当借口,有空就多回家看看父母吧,在家当儿子总比在外当孙子强@捧腹网
1565 57 1
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Zane_Zhang

Zane_Zhang

男友

去男友家,客客气气地吃了顿饭以后男友妈妈悄悄把男友拉到一边说:“儿子啊,你眼光到底行不行啊,怎么比上次的那个还丑?”我顿时欲语泪千行,阿姨啊,其实,上次的那个也是我……@捧腹网
111 15 1
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